Sirius Black and his Large Toast Eating Pants
by Writer-by-day
Summary: Sirius Black comes back from a Finger Eleven concert with the guitarist's abnormally large pants. Chaos comes into play as the pants start eating toast...


**SIRIUS BLACK AND HIS LARGE,**

**TOAST EATING, FINGER**

**ELEVEN PANTS.**

A/N: mmmmm, Finger Eleven pants and toooast…… ahhhh….. what's that you said squirrel?

DISCLAIMER: WE OWN NOTHING! If we did then well, Harry Potter books would be very INSANE! Yes, I mean no, I mean yes. What was that I was saying? I don't own any Finger Eleven gimiks

Without further adu:

James was sitting in the great hall, bored as usual, and where was his best friend when he needed him? Sleeping. That's where.

Yes, Sirius Black had been doing a lot of peculiar things lately. Which, if he thought about it was the norm. for the tall long haired youth. But lately the war at home had been getting to his poor Padfoot who was always fighting back valiantly with more and more things to make his stuffy mother shake with pure rage and break things.

His latest weapon had been getting into muggle rock/heavy metal. This James couldn't follow into, he wasn't really a fan of the stuff and would much rather be on the Quiddich pitch than listening to ear splitting lyrics and screeching guitar.

But, he supported his friend non the less and had even bought him tickets to a concert he heard was going around for Sirius's 16th birthday. A concert to which, he was now sleeping off.

Remus looked up from his book and gave his sad looking friend a tight smile. He was still kind of mad about both Sirius and James convincing the muggle studies teacher to let Sirius go on a school night. But they had done worse; and Remus found himself slowly forgiving both his miscreant friends for the umpteenth hundred time.

At that time Sirius walked into the great hall, he looked tired but happy and walked over to his friends giving them a slight wave. Which of course would have been the norm, if he hadn't been wearing the biggest pants the likes of wizardry had ever seen before.

Remus's eyes went wide as he stared at his friend and he pondered quietly to himself how Sirius was managing to walk without falling down. Then he realized the whole great hall had gone silent as every student from every different house turned around to stare at the ridiculously large pants.

Sirius looked around and then finally shrugged them off shouting an "Oh, bugger off you lot!" before sitting in his rightful spot on the Gryffindor bench beside his best mate James and across from his fellow marauder Remus. Peter was missing due to a purple puss hex gone 'array'

"morning." Sirius mumbled picking up a piece of toast and munching on it. "What the bloody hell are those?" Remus asked looking underneath the table to get a closer look at what he would come to fondly call the black obscurities.

Sirius frowned. "They're my Finger Eleven pants." He said pointing proudly. Both guys were quiet for a second and then James snorted. "Mate, I know you're proud of your, erm, manhood, but I've seen yours, and erm, it could hardly be called an, erm, eleventh finger." James said shaking his head and looking away.

Remus shifted uncomfortable and buried his head back into his book, not wanting to be in the conversation anymore. Sirius, however let out a bark of a laugh. "Not that Prongs; don't you remember the name of the band I went to see last night? They were called Finger Eleven." He said laughing.

"Right…" James mumbled. "The lead guitarist gave them to me!" Sirius exclaimed proudly.

Remus couldn't hold in anymore. "He, he gave you his pants!" Remus exclaimed looking absolutely horrified. "What did he wear! And how big was this lead guitarist?" Remus exclaimed. Sirius smiled. "He was a little shorter than me actually." He confessed grinning devilishly.

"Bloody hell, what a git! Prancing around like a ponce wearing pants of that size!"

Remus exclaimed shaking his head with a look on his face that both friends had seen so many times before. _What has the bloody world come too…?_

Sirius was still grinning proudly at his pants when James dropped a piece of toast. "Oi! Watch it, you almost got marmalade on my pants!" Sirius exclaimed angrily as he glared at James. James gave Sirius a shrug and went to retrieve his breakfast when the pants got there first.

James paled as Sirius's seemingly hungry pants gobbled his beautiful food up. He then promptly removed his hands from underneath the table and looked up at Sirius with a look of terror on his face.

Sirius ignored that and asked "Did you loose it then? It better not have gotten my pants all sticky, I was planning on wearing them when I go see mother, and I wouldn't want to make her proud with the soiling of anything muggle, no matter how small." Sirius said with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

James shook his head. "I-I think your pants just, ate them Pad's." James said swallowing slightly. "Prongs, are you alright?" asked Sirius as he waved a hand in front of James's face.

Both Sirius and Remus stared as slowly a mischievous smirk broke onto James's face. The look of enlightenment.

"We can do so much with those pants!" James exclaimed grinning. Remus frowned, suddenly knowing where this was going. He shook his head, "Okay, if those pants really did eat toast no wonder that guy gave Padfoot his pants." Claimed Remus who couldn't ignore where things are going.

"Pads let's feed them some more stuff! To see what else they'll eat; maybe we can feed Snivellous to them!" James exclaimed with a look of pure joy on his face. "No! My poor Finger Eleven pants, I don't want that greasy git anywhere near them!" Sirius exclaimed whilst stroking his pants affectionately.

"I think he's starting to develop an unhealthy relationship with his pants." Remus said frowning. Sirius glared over at Remus's direction and shook his head slowly. Then he continued to stoke his pants and mumble something Remus couldn't hear but he knew wasn't very nice.

James was still dreamy eyed with possibilities. Toast eating pants! Oh the possibilities! But, what else would it eat?

Then watching Sirius through the corner of his eye. He slowly inched his elbow towards the bacon, and in one fast swoop, much like ripping off a Band-Aid; he knocked a piece of bacon to the floor.

He then inched himself under the table until he had an excellent view of the bacon lying on the floor. He watched Sirius's pants for a reaction, but none came.

He sighed wondering if he had really just imagined the pants eating toast, like Moony had suggested. He sat there slightly depressed for a moment. Watching lazily as Sirius scarfed down his food in a very non-human looking manner. Then he realized something.

The great James Potter couldn't be wrong! Not now, not ever. With a new determination he took up another piece of toast and spread some more marmalade, just like before.

This time Remus was watching. Intrigued by this tenacious display of human behavior. He had seen a lot of strange and un-nerving things in his lifetime, but never; never would he ever believe that a large, very large pair of black muggle pants would eat toast.

James grinned up at Remus before dropping the piece of toast on the floor with a cheeky smile. This time Sirius didn't even notice the toast coming close to his pants because his face was buried in his oatmeal, he grunted in random intervals as he gulped down his breakfast.

Then, both James and Remus ducked down under the table to get a better look. This time the bottom of the pant leg reached out and seemed to sniff the toast. Still unaware of what his pants were doing as he had moved on to the muffins. The pants then took the toast by the seam and suddenly the toast was gone.

James smirked, he knew he had been right. Remus paled, where did the toast go? He asked himself. James had been right? That was new. AND would someone give Sirius PANTS! All were questions zooming around in Remus's head.

SIRIUS: mmmm muffins…. Ahhhhh

((End of chapter one.))

A/N: YAY! We had soo much fun making this chapter! The next one will be better, please review with extra awesome plot ideas, we will probably use them. For those of you who don't know Finger Eleven, is an awesome band and they wear really big pants in all their videos which look really AWESOME! Anyways, that's our blurb we'll be back veeeery veeeeery soon, miss us!

W-B-D and the squirrel, I mean, kitsumenodraco


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